


Accidental Alpaca Acquisition

by rebelmeg



Series: Best Bot Dum-E [6]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Dum-E Appreciation Hebdomad 2020, Dum-E is a precious bot, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Pepper puts up with a lot, Tony Can't Say No
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:40:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23217145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rebelmeg/pseuds/rebelmeg
Summary: The story of how the amazing duo of Dum-E the Disaster Bot and Gerald the Chaos Alpaca came to be.
Relationships: Pepper Potts/Tony Stark
Series: Best Bot Dum-E [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1499846
Comments: 35
Kudos: 137





	Accidental Alpaca Acquisition

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ceealaina](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ceealaina/gifts), [Eirlyssa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eirlyssa/gifts), [Lacrimula_Falsa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lacrimula_Falsa/gifts).



> This is for Day 4 of the 2020 Dum-E Appreciation Hebdomad!

Pepper crossed the porch of the lakehouse and went down the steps, making a beeline for her husband, who was definitely doing something that required an explanation. “Tony?”

He grinned at her. “Yes, Peppermint? Oh, might I say, you do look very attractive with that baby strapped to your chest. Super-hot, very vogue.”

“Yes, thank you, our child is my favorite accessory. Could you explain something for me?”

“It’s very likely.”

“Okay, then please do tell me why you are bringing your robot with us to the petting zoo?”

Tony shot his wife a slightly incredulous expression over his shoulder as he got Dum-E loaded into the small trailer hitched to their mid-size SUV. “Because he wanted to. Look at him, Pep, you try to say no to that claw.”

Dum-E chirped in an agreeable way, bobbing his arm and turning his camera on Pepper. She tried to hide her smile, but wasn’t quite successful as she patted the bot’s strut, keeping one hand patting a sleepy nine-month-old Morgan’s back, who was indeed strapped to her mother’s chest in a baby carrier.

“Okay. Another question. How did he even find out about petting zoos?”

Tony tossed one end of a tie-down strap over to the other side of the trailer, going around to cinch it tight so Dum-E didn’t roll around while they were driving. “Rhodey. This is entirely his fault, and don’t let him tell you otherwise.”

“Rhodey told Dum-E about petting zoos?”

“He sure did.”

“Why?”

“Because I think I said something about showing Dum-E how different animals move, to help him get used to those new wheels we’re working on. So Rhodey was pulling up some animal videos, and of course Dum-E went nuts for it, and then all of a sudden petting zoos were being discussed and now we have to take my dunce cap robot to the petting zoo. He wants to pet the fluffy things.”

Pepper opened her mouth, about to ask for more clarification on certain points, then just shook her head and gave up. “Yeah. Okay then. I’m gonna go put Morgan in her car seat.”

* * *

“Tony?”

“Yes, honey?”

“I need you to explain another thing to me.”

Tony was clearly working very hard on keeping his voice nonchalant as he drove them all back home from the petting zoo late that afternoon. “I don’t see why that’s necessary, you were there the whole time.”

“Yes, I know, but I’m still confused how we got from point A to point B.”

“By all means, allow me to clear that up for you.”

“Generous of you. I know I was there for it, but I’m still having trouble understanding how we went from _petting_ the baby alpacas to _taking one of them home_.”

“Because Dum-E refused to leave without that one. He pulled the puppy eyes on me, Pepper.”

She wasn’t about to be deterred, not with this level of shenanigans happening. “The robot. Your robot. The one that still puts motor oil in your smoothies and pretends he can’t hear you when you tell him not to do something, the one that does not even have eyes.”

“Yes, I’ve met him, and he has a camera. Same thing, really, and he was beeping very sad.”

“So that robot. Refused to leave the petting zoo. And your idea of resolving the situation is to buy a baby alpaca, name it Gerald, and bring it home with us. In a large doggie carrier in the backseat.”

The doggie carrier emitted a quiet humming sort of sound. Apparently alpacas did that.

Tony shrugged, almost defensively. “We didn't _buy_ him, we _adopted_ him, and I don’t know why you’re making it sound unreasonable. You’ve seen that bot when he’s in a mood, it was basically coercion. I could have been drinking battery acid in my smoothie tomorrow for all we know, if I hadn’t let him get his way.”

“Tony…”

“When you say my name like that, it makes my teeth itch.”

“An alpaca. You bought an alpaca.”

“We adopted, and I know, _you were there_.”

“How did I let you do that?”

“Because you love me?”

Pepper sighed, deeply and from her very soul. “Yeah. You’re right. I do.” She glanced in the rearview mirror, through which she could see Dum-E all but plastered to the rear window, his claw twisted just so in order to keep an eye on the baby alpaca inside the doggie carrier, and Morgan in her car seat. Even through the window and over the sound of the engine, she could hear that ridiculous metal puppy beeping and chirping like crazy, absolutely ecstatic.

Tony glanced over at her, a hint of a smile flirting with his mouth. “So… we can keep the alpaca, right?”


End file.
